He smells French, too, and regardless of whatever prejudices that may conjure in your mind, the patient smells great! Licorice, berry and cherry scents mix wonderfully with leather and tar notes. (Tar... perhaps he's been smoking when the orderlies aren't around.)

However, Phelps' most disturbing and greatest achievement is that he tastes like a Rhone-blend red. He has channeled his obsession with being French to the point where he exudes the flavors of his aroma. The berry, cherry and spice are all there in a slightly acidic and lightly tannic body.

While Phelps smells and tastes wonderfully balanced, he clearly is not. I recommend retaining him in WoW's Mental Health Ward for extended testing… and retesting.

Cheers,
TSW

WoW Mental Health Division
Name of Patient: Joseph Phelps
Age: 2 (from harvest)
Height/Weight: 750 ml
Condition: Delusional

Phelps clearly suffers from an advanced state of delusion, believing that he is, in fact, French and from the Rhone Valley, specifically.

He has gone to elaborate lengths to perpetuate this façade, starting with referring to himself as Pastiche.