This cure-all from Argentina will -- or will come close, anyway.

As a wonderful holiday present to us all, here’s a big, deep, dark malbec that goes for $7 at full retail (Sorry to bring up “retail” again. I know you’re trying to forget.), and even less when on sale.

The nose: an alcoholic swirl of cassis, blackberry and lightly spicy oak. The palate follows suit with beautiful, big blackberry, black cherry, good acidity and light tannins.

The finish isn’t endless, but for $7, I think that’s worth living with. This wine does its job of helping you forget the tortures of the mall. Better, it doesn’t do it just by getting you drunk, but by being good enough to render all pedestrian woes temporarily insignificant.

Now really, isn’t that what the season is all about?

Cheers,
TSW

* - Chimp Wine is a WoW designation signifying a no-brainer, must-buy wine (as in, "You'd have to be a chimp not to buy this wine.").

This time of year, regardless of religious affiliation, you’re doing some holiday shopping. The stores are as packed with people as a Tokyo subway (or whatever it’s called in Tokyo), and the cash register queues resemble those for bread in the USSR.

Your feet hurt like they’re punishing you for not shopping back in October (after you promised yourself you would) and you want nothing more than to go home, put up those barking dogs and open a nice bottle of wine.

Trouble is, you’re so broke from shopping that you can’t possibly afford a nice bottle of wine (or dinner). An extremely mediocre wine, perhaps, but such elixirs never revived aching feet or returned sensation to numb lower backs.